In terms of function. The Parent ego state may be
divided into the Nurturing Parent and the Critical Parent. In most cases,
someone functioning as a Nurturing Parent behaves in a caring, concerned, and protective manner but may sometimes
appear overprotective. Someone functioning as a Critical Parent is experienced
as an oppressive, prejudice, powerfull, intimidating, and controlling person
who demands “yes” and “no” answer. Trusting neither self nor other, the
Critical Parent calls on external authority to enforce his or her demands
(Harris & Harris, 1985. pp. 223-224).
Too much of a Critical Parent result in aggression,
while too little result in passivity. Too much Nurturing Parent results in an
overbearing and inhibiting personality, while too little means an inconsiderate
and uncaring personality (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p. 408).
In the Parent ego state is recorded a modeled and taught
concept of life. This unerasable concept is composed of events that actually
happened in childhood. Tradition and values reside in the concept, although
values as well as other information may need updating later in life by the
person’s Adult ego state. The problem is that the individual internalizes this
tape In a distorted fashion, recording both the distorted and the objective
realities of what one’s parents were. Because the child is dependent on its
parents, it is unable to comprehend that they were not God, but human, and thus
made mistakes. As a result, the child grows to adulthood with a commingled but
“ultimately right” Parent ego state that is filled with demands, directions,
and dogmatic decisions. The Parent ego state, then, is the externally derived
“have to” of the personality (Harris & Harris, 1985, pp. 14-18).
The Adult Ego State
The Adult ego state is the referee between the demands of the Parent
ego state and the wants of the Child ego state. The Adult ego state adds the
tought concept to the taught concept of the Parent ego state and the felt
concept of the Child ego state. It provides the “how to” for the personality by
asking “why” question and considering consequences. The Adult ego state is not
only a functioning part of the personality but also an observable state, and it
is internally derived. One of its major functions is to update the Parent ego
state (Harris & Harris, 1985, pp. 17-18).
The Adult ego
state is not divided because it is unemotional and functions solely as a
computer (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p. 409). Therefore, to much adult results in
a technically rational but boring individual not unlike Mr. spock of Star Trek fame, while too little adult
result in an illogical an irrational individual (Dusay & Dusay, 1989, p.
437).
Strokes
In TA theory, the need for strokes is considered the basic motivation
for any human social interaction an necessary to an individual’s healthy
functioning (Dusay & Dusay, 1979, p. 377).
The most positive strokes come from parents who unconditionally
accept their children. However, even if acceptances of children is conditional,
the Child ego state will be happy if promised strokes are delivered (Harris
& Harris, 1985, p. 45). As children grow, they receive strokes that may be
either positive “I love you!” or negative “I hate you!” Althought naturally
preferring positive strokes, children consider negative strokes better than no
strokes at all (Woollams & Brown, 1979, p. 43).
The Parent Ego State
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